Well I made it through my first surgery and it was a success. Now just to recap yesterday…I got to Children’s Hospital in Boston at 11 am yesterday the 7th and didn’t get called for pre-op until 12 even though I was scheduled for 12:30 pm. At that point I was on hour 13 of fasting. If you know me, you know that I eat every few hours and that I love to eat. So in anticipation of this fast I went out to dinner and got a bacon cheeseburger on a brioche roll with truffle french fries and for dessert I had a scoop of caramel swirl and a scoop of coffee ice cream both of which came with a cookie…as if I had’t had 7 oatmeal raisin chocolate chip cookies already that day.

When I got home from dinner I had two gingerbread donuts from the restaurant Trade on Atlantic Ave that my friend who manages it gave to me as a get well gift…or because he knows I am obsessed. If you have never been there, please do. It is amazing. Great atmosphere, great staff, great management, GREAT Malbec, although I really only go for the donuts…mmmm. I basically wanted to eat as much food as I could manage so that I wouldn’t fall into my night eating trap since I wasn’t allowed to eat passed 11 pm, which I can proudly say I DID NOT DO! I did not night eat. I remember one point in the night where I was sitting up in my bed trying my hardest to just lay back down and not head into my kitchen. I cannot tell you how proud of myself that I laid right back down and passed out.

I was so excited that I  got to sleep in which is a rarity and a God send because I was trying to stay out of my kitchen so I wouldn’t be tempted to use my new Nespresso machine and have my usual eggs and chicken sausage. Somehow I managed to do it. So mom and dad pick me up at 10 and I am on my way. Sitting in that waiting room for over an hour to be called in was torture. All I wanted was water, which I had to stop consuming at 10 am and a breakfast sandwich or a donut. Damn those donuts! Finally at noon they call my name….shit just got real. Is this actually, FINALLY happening???

First they have me pee in a cup…now my question is for you ladies, how the hell do you not miss that damn cup??? I mean seriously? Who has that kind of control? Clearly I do not know how. Baffles me every time.  (Remember now I am on some pain meds right now) They take my vitals, ask me questions I have been asked 10,000 times at this point, teach me how to use crutches, have me change into my hospital gown, have the hematologist come down and teach me how to inject Lovenox; a blood thinner that I get to inject into my body every 12 hours for the next 3 weeks…what a joy that will be, especially at work. Hey guys, who wants to inject me with a needle???

Ugh. Finally I meet with the surgeon who is the coolest dude ever, then the anesthesiologist, sign more and more and more paper work, tell them my name and date of birth about 15 times, attach a little bracelet that says what I am allergic to, and mark and sign the hip to be operated on. My right one. Then the fun starts and of course I had to give two thumbs up for my first surgery.

They inject the IV into my left hand which didn’t feel great but was totally bearable. Then comes the fun stuff. The relaxation drug that they give you before they bring you into the operating room. Being that this was my first surgery, I was shocked at how many people were in the OR. They told me who was who but I don’t really remember. Next thing I know they are injecting what I think was the anesthesia which really fucking hurt. Excuse my swearing but it felt like someone was running a knife up along my vein. I remember wanting to punch the guy but before I could manage a strong swing, I was out cold.

I guess it was an hour and a half surgery and it took me an hour to come to. Apparently I am super human and the amount of anesthesia they gave me wasn’t enough so they had to pump some more into my little body (as they referred to it after wards). So I awake with a startle and I immediately know where I am and what they had done because the pain in my hip was excruciating. Within two seconds my parents are there. They told me that I basically stared at the wall for a solid half hour, slurring any words that came out of my mouth. Then the nurse injects me with Lovenox, makes me take my Valium, Oxycodon and Tylenol, set me in a wheelchair and wheel me away.

I was stoned out of my mind in this picture if you couldn’t tell. Next feat was getting into the damn suburban. Again, thank God for drugs. Sitting in the back of that bad boy I was a Chatty Cathy and totally fascinated by this little cold bag because whenever I squeezed the button sent nice ice cold water into the hip…heaven.on.earth.

Thank God I was in and out of consciousness the whole ride home because my hip was really pissed off.

This is a good representation of how I felt.

Finally home. Drugged up, exhausted, in pain and  hungry, so mother effing hungry but since my stomach was a little queasy, this was all I managed…

A small amount of chicken noodle soup and some toast and butter. I fall onto the couch shortly after so my dad can squeeze some ice cold water into the ice pack on my hip…

Clearly so happy.

At this point it is 10:30 and the pain killers are no longer doing their job. I ask my dad when I can take my next dose…midnight. FML. So I take some sleepy medicine to pass out, have my parents lift my right leg onto my bed since there is absolutely no way I can even move that baby on my own, my dad squeezes the little blue ball to inject the ice cold water and I fall asleep for an hour until he comes back in with heaven.

Then 2 am rolls around…”Daaaad” I say in a cute and calm voice…”can I have some toast?” Thank god for parents. Let me tell you. They are the most amazing people in the world. My poor dad got up like 4 times to take care of me. At 4 am he comes back in with my 4th round of pain killers. I manage to sleep til 7:30, anxiously waiting for round 5. I eat some eggs and toast, take my drugs and pass out into dream land…seriously heaven on earth. I awake, start texting all my friends because I am already so bored…oh I forgot to mention I get to wear this cool little bracelet for 3 weeks…

And one of my clients was nice enough to hook me up with a little care package that included these…

Thanks Woody!!

Oh and then I got these…

Thanks Rick and Kris!!!

So now it’s almost 3 pm and I am lying on my couch in my pajamas writing, always writing. I don’t feel too drugged up which is weird based on how out of if I was on my last 6 dosages. But oh boy when those pain killers wear off…damn. I never, ever want to have surgery again. Today has been a good day, minus I need help getting up, sitting down, going to the bathroom…oh and I can’t shower for 3 days…just a nice little sponge bath. Can’t wait to take the bandages off and see what my hip looks like!

All in all, nothing too crazy to report other than I can’t believe after two months of waiting in anticipation for this to happen, that it finally has and I am on the road to recovery. It’s funny when you look forward to something so much, while still appreciating every day, and when that one thing you look forward to happens, you think, what now? But then I realize I have a lot more fun ahead of me. So I leave you with this gem of a picture that depicts how I feel right now…mind you I have a broken IPad which is why it is slightly blurry. Go me.

Oh and if you care to look at the pictures they took while fixing my hip…dig in..

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